Happy Halloween!

Me and my BFF - are we be-witching? ; )

OLW Blog Hop - Catching Up

Welcome back to the One Little Word Blog Hop! For those unfamiliar, OLW is a year-long class offered by Big Picture Classes and Ali Edwards. Each month, Ali puts together a prompt that explores a different aspect of our word, as well as a creative project that reflects the month's theme. This year, my OLW is dream. You can see all of my OLW related posts here.

Due to recent events, I missed out on last month's blog hop. But I have completed the prompt. In August, we were tasked with a self-portrait and a loving message to ourselves. I used a photo taken with my iPhone.

For this month, we went back to deeper thinking. Ali challenged us to choose a battle worth fighting for in relation to our OLW. She also asked us to identify a battle that we are willing to surrender.

Powerful stuff.

I chose to fight for my dreams by enrolling in Mondo Beyondo, an online course devoted to dreaming big. I had seen the class many times before and was always interested...but I had not been ready to take the plunge. Shortly after watching Ali's presentation about choosing our battle, I received the Mondo Beyondo newsletter. It seemed serendipitous that the Fall Session started September 12th. I registered immediately. I am LOVING this class.

One of my favorite exercises so far was identifying my core values. I'll leave you today with my list:

Acceptance – Giving myself permission to dream big & small and then being open to what I discover. Having the courage to believe in the goodness of myself and others. Seeking more gratitude, less judgment in my beautiful everyday life. Weathering the storms of life with grace, wisdom and humor.

Authenticity – Keeping it real & owning my own particular brand of crazy. Being true to myself in all my varying roles. No comparisons, no competition. Seek to add value in all the I do. Admit my frailties. Allow venerability.

Balance – Set priorities for family, work, household and creativity. Adopt and keep a schedule to avoid becoming overwhelmed! No more paralyzing fear of imperfection. Know it’s ok to be ok. Learn to say no, kindly but firmly. Celebrate the wins.


Commitment – Keep pushing to improve dedication and reliability. Follow through. Self-motivation. Work harder at marriage & motherhood. Heathy habits are now imperative! Manage chronic disease, eat better, move more.

Love – Hold fast to “the greatest of these is love.” Let this be your anchor. Kindness first. Generosity of spirit and materials. Honor my husband. Support my son’s move to independence, guide him without guilt or smothering. Learn to love from afar. Grow my spirituality. Take care of our earth.

Next up on the blog hop is  the wonderful Nicky. Check out her post here.

Farewell Coco

Last night we had to give away our sweet, sweet Coco girl. And it just about killed me...

I've had allergies since childhood, but as I've gotten older, both my allergies and my asthma have progressively worsened. And while I knew that I was somewhat allergic to dogs, I've never had a severe reaction to any type of dog. I've had dogs as pets my whole life.

I'm a dog person.

When Jim & I got a dog together in January 2007, we chose a breed recommended that was recommended for people with allergies, a Chinese Crested. From the start, she was a perfect fit for our little family. Loving and sweet. A snuggler. A lap dog, but not a 'yip' dog. Protective. Smart. A little dog with a fierce heart. And so, so loyal.

During my recent hospitalization, the pulmonologist advised us that no dog is truly hypo-allergenic and that we needed to "get rid of the dog."

Thankfully, a co-worker of Jim's was willing to take her. I couldn't be more grateful. We know she has a loving home. We know she will be well cared for. We know she will bring joy to another family. I am certain of that.

But I am certain of one other thing as well. 

Coco will always be my dog.

Thought For Today

Return To Blogging - From The Heart

 As many of you might have noticed, I've been conspicuously absent for the past six weeks on my poor blog. I have been dealing with some fairly overwhelming family and personal issues during this time. Partly out of shame, partly out of fear but mainly out of not even having enough energy to open my laptop at the end of every day, I told myself that I was "taking a hiatus" from blogging...but less like a planned sabbatical and more like just plain running away.

I was really just avoiding the issue of how to creatively express myself in the face of adversity. How do you present the struggles and challenges of real life without becoming overly emotional or coming across like you're just complaining? I mean, god forbid my blog should read like an overwrought teen diary, teeming with angst and drama. While life has certainly felt like I've somehow wandered onto the set of the "Real Housewives of Omaha," I was less than enthused with the thought that my blog should be perceived as such nonsense. I admit it -  I was worried about being too open, oversharing or (gasp!) wandering into the dreaded TMI zone.

But then I read this post on Ali Edwards' blog last week which started my thinking that maybe I was holding back unnecessarily, that I can be real and authentic about my struggles in a productive way. Shortly after, I read this post on Stephanie Howell's blog and was completely thunderstruck, awed and inspired by her challenge to Blog From The Heart.

I hear you, universe. And I offer you my heart in return.

My heart is breaking. My darling boy, my only child is a drug addict. He has been since the tender age of 14. To save him, we had to let him go for over 1 year when he was 16. A year  filled with insight and laughter and tears and healing and sobriety. After returning home, he underwent close monitoring and remained sober for an additional 8 months. He relapsed in January of this past year at the age of 18. We had an intervention in mid-August but he declined help. We had to have him removed from the house after he destroyed our living room furniture and assaulted both my husband and I. I have had only sporadic contact with him since that episode. Right now, my family is broken but I cannot fix it. I am helpless, forced into the role of observer as my only child battles his demons, doomed to stand by and merely watch. But I have hope, always hope.

My heart is overwhelmed. The stress of a blended family is taxing to a relationship in the best of circumstances. Obviously, the present is not something that could be characterized as the best of times. Jim and I are working through these challenges. I'd ask for your support and prayers over the coming weeks that we can grow tighter, stronger and more committed through our shared strength.

My heart is grateful. We are blessed with an amazing and wonderful circle of friends, as well as both of our families. To say that these individuals, our tribe as it were, have banded together in a truly awe-inspiring display of support for our family wouldn't come near enough to describing the outpouring of love that we have received.

My heart is healing. In the midst of all the turmoil, my asthma flared up (thanks again, fall allergies) and quickly developed into a serious pneumonia. I spent the majority of the past week in the hospital and needed two days of ICU care to remain off of a ventilator. This was truly one of the most terrifying experiences of my life. But I am lucky. I received excellent care and responded perfectly to medication. I have been home since last Tuesday and am feeling my strength coming back.

My heart is kick-started. Needless to say, this recent health scare has reinforced an urgent need in myself to make some lifestyle changes. I hereby commit to improving my eating habits and increasing my physical activity. I am completely deconditioned. But I am strong. I am capable of change. I am focused and determined.

My heart is inspired. I joined the fall session of Mondo Beyondo. As the site says, "I have joined Andrea Scher and Jen Lemen as together we explore Mondo Beyondo--the powerful point of view that transforms our deepest dreams into practical realities." I'm really looking forward to focusing my emotions and energy into a positive endeavor.

What is your heart feeling right now?

Friday Photo Love - The Someecards Edition

Due to some unanticipated health problems, I have been woefully absent from my little blog. But I am back! And glad to be here...although still no running allowed for me if I want to keep breathing.

Look for a longer and more authentic post later this evening...and thanks for sticking with me, readers.

OLW Blog Hop - The Musical

Welcome once again to the One Little Word blog hop. I have really come to love these monthly gatherings, my friends. Participating every month in an organized group activity (thank you so much, Margie!) has been supremely helpful in keeping me on-track and accountable with my OLW dream adventures. Even when I haven't actually completed the prompt, preparing for this blog hop keeps thoughts and ideas about my word at the forefront of my mind.

Bet you thought all that was a lead up to my explaining how I don't have this month's prompt completed.

Well, you would be wrong. ; )

Because there is no way that I would miss out on a prompt that involved music. I cannot tell you how excited I was to see song lyrics as the main component this month. Music has always been a huge part of my life, my family's life. Just about this time last year, I wrote a post describing the soundtrack of my life. It is one of my favorite blog posts ever (if you're interested, you can check it out here).  And I got just as much satisfaction exploring songs from the perspective of my word, from seeing where my dreams lead me as I did when I wrote about this last year.

Music is just magic to me.

I actually did my cards digitally this month. I do all kinds of scrapping - traditional, digital and hybrid - but this is the first time I've done an all digital layout for this class. Truth be told, it was fun playing with type and color on my laptop. I'm a little bit geek at heart so sometimes I find great joy creating through technology.

Here's the listing of my lyric choices -

1. The Cave | Mumford & Sons
So make your siren's call and sing all you want
I will not hear what you have to say
'Cause I need freedom now
And I need to know how
To live my life as it's meant to be

2. All You Need Is Love | The Beatles
All you need is love

3. Love at the Five and Dime | Nanci Griffith
Dance a little closer to me
It's closing time 
And love's on sale tonight 
At this five and dime

4. Thunder Road | Bruce Springsteen
Show a little faith, there's magic in the night

5. F*cking Perfect | P!nk
Pretty, pretty please
if you ever, ever feel
like you are nothing
you're f*cking perfect to me

6. She Got Her Ticket | Tracy Chapman
She got her ticket
I think she gonna use it
I think she going to fly away

7. Dream a Little Dream of Me | Ella Fitzgerald
Sweet dreams til sunbeams find you
Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you
But in your dreams whatever they be
Dream a little dream of me

8. Head Full of Doubt/Road Full of Promise | The Avett Brothers
There was a dream
And one day I could see it
Like a bird in a cage
I broke in and demanded somebody free it

9. Defying Gravity | Wicked
It's time to try defying gravity

And I utilized the feature on my printer that prints directly onto a CD in creating my playlist! Total score. Here's a peek at this month all together in my album.

Next up in the blog hop is Maureen - check out her blog here.