Words of Wisdom

I saw this gorgeous bit of word art on the amazing blog, Create With TLC. I've been ill and struggling a little this month but this sentiment made me smile.

xoxo,

Jenn

OLW Blog Hop - Endings and Beginnings...

Hello, dear readers and Happy New Year! I am so excited to welcome you to this month's One Little Word Blog Hop. Regular readers are familiar with the OLW concept. For anyone new to my blog, it is an idea originated by Ali Edwards that has taken off like wildfire. In 2011 Ali teamed up with Big Picture Classes to offer a guided yearlong workshop devoted to discovering and documenting your one little word. I am happy to report that the class will be offered again in 2012. Ali describes the experience like this:

 "Last year I decided I wanted to do something even more tangible with my One Little Word. I've found that, just like a resolution, it's easy to lose sight of the things you set forward to embark on as regular life gets busy throughout the course of the year. To combat this I plan to bring my word into my life more consciously and concretely and make it more visible by creating an album to hold my thoughts, challenges and inspirations."

The final prompt for 2011's class centered around reflection. Ali designed a wonderful tool to record facts and feelings about our OLW. I LOVED using this tool to record my final thoughts related to my OLW dream. As I pondered the journey that I had taken with my dreams this past year, I was at peace. My journey had been fruitful. I learned what I want and I know how to make it happen. I know that a need to be creative drives me. I know that I have talent. I know that I have a unique voice and perspective - one that can educate, encourage and inspire my fellow creatives. I know that I want to pursue my own business. Someday I will work for myself. I'm not quite sure what this business will be exactly and I'm okay with that. Because I know that I don't have to have all the answers right now. I just have to believe in my dreams.

 In 2010 I focused on hope. In 2011 I defined my dreams. As the year comes to a close, I am ready, eager actually, to move onto a new word. Excited to see where this new journey will take me. And confident that I am able to handle what's in store for the future. But I carry these words of years past in my soul. These words continue to speak to me, guiding and leading me even as I venture into uncharted waters. These words are comfortable, like my favorite pair of jeans. These words are familiar, like old friends holding my hand as I embark upon a new path. These words are loved.

And yet, I find myself longing for a change, something new and strange and wonderful. I feel ready to take on the world. I welcome 2012 with open arms. I've ordered a new planner. I've cracked the spine on my new journal. I am restless, filled with anticipation. I need to do something.

Do.

Hello world, a new little word is born.

 In 2012 I will do more. Do more creating. Do more documenting. Do more learning. Do more reading. Do more exercising. Do more healthy cooking (to be perfectly honest, do any cooking). Do more good.

Just do.

I completed the pre-class assignment for this year's class, consisting of a title page for my OLW album. I used foam Thickers on template created by Ali. Then I stamped a grid onto the title page and created mini collages in each space. I love the completed look. It echoes the look of last year's title page but is still different enought to be interesting. Here's a photo:

 Up next in the blog hop is Cindy. Check out her amazing work here.

Thank you for following along with the OLW hop! If you are interested in joining Ali's One Little Word class for 2012, you can register here. I loved this journey last year. I look forward to the upcoming journey this year. I hope you'll be joining us.

Remember, just do.

Blogging From the Heart - In the Year 2011

As 2011 draws to a close, I, like so many other bloggers, have been reflecting over the year as a whole. Perusing. Contemplating. Deleting. Cringing. Smiling. Laughing. Giggling. Sharing.

Remembering.

In that vein, I'd like to share some photos + words on the most memorable moments of 2011. While this past year can be most aptly characterized as challenging, in many ways 2011 also brought a multitude of happy, positive, wonderful and exciting opportunities. After culling through my daily planner, iCalendar and thousands of photographs, I humbly offer the Best of 2011.

10. Hilton Head, South Carolina

 Good friends + beach + continuing medical education = funnest business trip ever!

9. The "Dream" Journey

For the past 12 months, my One Little Word has been dream. This word has guided much of my thoughts and reflections in 2011. Each month I completed specific prompts, participated in a blog hop and spent a great amount of mental energy identifying and documenting my dreams. One of the things I felt was so special about this journey was that it was devoted to my dreams - not dreams for my family, not dreams for my marriage or my husband, just my dreams. I have found in my life and heard from many others that women have a particularly difficult time focusing on themselves. It has certainly been true in my life. I loved how easy it was to spend a few hours focused on me. I am very excited to see where my dreams are going in 2012...I will be revealing my OLW for 2012 tomorrow morning as part of the OLW Blog Hop. Be sure to check back at 10:00am CST!

8. This Boy's Smile

Although he has had his share of struggles in 2011, this amazing, talented, creative, loving boy has brought me so much joy. His smile is infectious. His zest for life is inspiring. He helps me see the little things, the small every day details that add up to a full and happy life. He makes me feel warm and fuzzy.

7. Reconnecting

I feel blessed to have reconnected with extended family...just in time for a very special 90th birthday.

6. A Visit From The East

We were so excited to host Jim's sister and family this past July. It is the first time they've come to Nebraska since Jim and I married. We explored the city, discovering new places together and sharing old favorites. One of my fondest memories is straddling the state line between Iowa and Nebraska while standing atop the Bob Kerry Pedestrian Bridge and marveling at the flood waters that were so prevalent this spring.


5. This Girl

Jim & I are so lucky. We have the absolute best circle of friends, both as a couple and as individuals. Deana has been my best friends since we met when I was 18 years old. That we've remained so close is a miracle. That we've celebrated birthdays and holidays with each others' families is a gift. That we are godparents to each others' children is a wonder. That we've spent the majority of 2011 laughing is the greatest thing of all.

4. My Mother

The more years go by, the greater my appreciation for my mother. She is my everything.

3. October in Hong Kong
This trip to visit friends in Hong Kong was the highlight of the year.

2. This Man

Jim is the best thing that ever happened to me. I say a little prayer for this man every day. He is everything that a husband should be. He is my partner, my lover and my very best friend.

1. Graduation Day

I have never felt prouder than when my son received his high school diploma. He worked so hard and at times it seemed as if he would never reach the stage. But he never gave up. When several of his friends dropped out or decided the getting a GED would be easier, he stayed the course. Even when he was sad.  Even when he was unsure of the future. Even when he was ready to rip out his hair in frustration. He never gave up. This says so much about his heart and his level of determination. This says so much about who he really is. This says so much about his intelligence and abilities. He never gave up.

I hope that each of you had moments to celebrate in 2011. I hope each of you learned something valuable in 2011. I hope each of you laughed and cried, sang and danced, read and wrote, created art and let go of trouble in 2011.

And I wish you the very best as we prepare for 2012. Happy New Year.

Post-Holiday Musings

I've been doing a bit of reflecting on this past holiday season - this past year really. There were so many lovely moments and a few things that stressed me out, but overall I am left with so much gratitude.

I am grateful for my husband. As I've mentioned before, my husband is, ahem, enthusiastic about Christmas. This is such a blessing to me. Every year, we not only host a holiday party/birthday party for moi, but also host my extended family for celebration on Christmas Eve. This season, both events were totally successful. We added an extra element to the holiday party this year but having a "Mad Men"-themed party. It was quite glamorous, with family and friends alike dressing in retro '60s fashion. Here we are, looking both lovely and in love:

I am grateful for my son. As some of you may be aware, my son is battling with substance abuse issues. I am so proud of him. He is still struggling, but he is taking responsibility for his choices. He is working to stay sober, though not always succeeding. He is living life honestly, sometimes asking for help, more often than not avoiding those who could most help him but always being truthful about his choices. Believe me when I say, this is a major change and has gone a long way toward mending our little family. The truth is a soothing peace in this case, even when I know he has relapsed I am so grateful for the truth. He is addressing his legal problems with courage and grace. It is so, so hard...standing by and watching him battle his demons is the most difficult thing I have ever done. But all of that seemed somehow removed this Christmas. This Christmas he was affectionate, funny, sweet, helpful and comfortable in his own skin. He joked and laughed with family. He shared loving sentiments. He was generous and wonderful. We love him so much.

I am grateful for my job. I work outside of our home - and I love it. I am a physician assistant, working for the Department of Veterans Affairs. Each time I go to work, I encounter people who have served bravely, served loyally, served compassionately, served without reservation, served humbly, just served. I am blessed in that every day I am able to give back. I am pictured below with a World War II veteran, Bill, who survived the attack on Pearl Harbor. I'd like to thank him again for sharing his amazing story, as well as permission to use his photograph on my blog.

 I am grateful for family and friends. I am amazed by the support that has been offered to us over this past year - which has, frankly, been a bit more arduous journey than in years past. I have not come close yet to understanding all the ways that we are changed as a family, I am changed as an individual...but I am quite certain that we could not have done it without the support of our family and friends. I am particularly thankful for our mothers.

I am grateful for each and every breath. I have severe asthma. This past year has also been a challenge on the health front. I have been hospitalized several times, struggling to get and stay well. I have been alternatively hopeful and frustrated. At this moment, the entire year seems like a repetitive cycle of illness and (relative) health. I am really struggling with these limitations right now...but I have hope for the future.

 I am grateful for my dreams. For 2011, my one little word has been dream. I've blogged monthly about my dreams using prompts from Ali Edwards' One Little Word class at Big Picture Classes. You can read all my previous posts related to OLW here. I have really grown comfortable with the word dream. In fact, I am even more certain now than one year ago that this word chose me. Between the stress of our family situation and the limitations of my health, much of this last year has been spent in meditation and contemplation, allowing me to fully flesh out my dreams. I have great plans for the coming year to take action on these dreams. I am quite excited about it.

I am grateful for you, dear readers. I look forward to sharing the coming year with you.



OLW Blog Hop - My Dreams in Pictures Redux

Welcome back for this month's installment of the One Little Word Blog Hop. As the year winds down, I am so very grateful to be able to look back at all my previous posts about my word of the year, Dream. I love having the concrete evidence of how much my word has come to be an active part of my life. I love seeing where my word has taken me. And I love seeing how much I have changed and grown with the influence of my one little word.

This month, we have 14 amazing women participating in the blog hop. I've said it before but it's worth repeating. Be sure to check out all of these fabulous ladies' blogs. You will be amazed at the creativity, humor, sentimentality, depth and joy that shines through on every single page. I know I can't wait to see each and every post.

October's prompt was a return to a class favorite - using 9 photographs to illustrate your word right now. What I really enjoyed about this prompt was going back to look at February's collage after I had put together the collage for this month. It was interesting to see what inspired my dreams now compared to those images that sparked my imagination near the beginning of this journey.

Below is this month's collage. I've listed the words behind the photos underneath. Once again, I plan to make a layout incorporating these words + photos. But in my album, the photos will not have any words on them (or numbers for that matter). The numbers correspond to the written statements for each photo.

1.I dream of new directions.
2. My dreams are bright and sometimes burn with intensity.
3. I dream of the exotic, the foreign, the unfamiliar.
4. Some dreams strip you bare, exposing all of my vulnerabilities and fears.
5. My dreams, collected and savored.
6. Dreams can be mysterious, leaving only hints and remnants for me to piece together.
7. I am ready to go where my dreams lead me.
8. Some dreams are comforting, like the sun shining warmly onto my face.
9. Some dreams are a baptism, like a clean rain sluicing through my soul.

I've been thinking a lot of the dreams I had in childhood, how as a child I wasn't afraid to dream, how I didn't put limitations on my dreams. Through my recent experiences in Mondo Beyondo, I've re-connected with these childhood fantasies. Some bring me laughter and amusement, some are unrecognizable, some generate a bittersweet sense of loss, and some still ring so true. More importantly, Mondo Beyondo taught me how dream again. I mean really dream, with abandon and imagination and longing...and without practicality or limits or fear.


I am learning to let go of fear, of all anxiety as I face the future.

I wanted to use a photo enlargement to convey this re-connection to my childhood dreaming.

What are your dreams right now? Are you pursuing these dreams? I really hope so...

Next up in the blog hop is the fabulous Cheri. Check our her blog and enjoy the rest of the hop!

OLW Blog Hop - Catching Up

Welcome back to the One Little Word Blog Hop! For those unfamiliar, OLW is a year-long class offered by Big Picture Classes and Ali Edwards. Each month, Ali puts together a prompt that explores a different aspect of our word, as well as a creative project that reflects the month's theme. This year, my OLW is dream. You can see all of my OLW related posts here.

Due to recent events, I missed out on last month's blog hop. But I have completed the prompt. In August, we were tasked with a self-portrait and a loving message to ourselves. I used a photo taken with my iPhone.

For this month, we went back to deeper thinking. Ali challenged us to choose a battle worth fighting for in relation to our OLW. She also asked us to identify a battle that we are willing to surrender.

Powerful stuff.

I chose to fight for my dreams by enrolling in Mondo Beyondo, an online course devoted to dreaming big. I had seen the class many times before and was always interested...but I had not been ready to take the plunge. Shortly after watching Ali's presentation about choosing our battle, I received the Mondo Beyondo newsletter. It seemed serendipitous that the Fall Session started September 12th. I registered immediately. I am LOVING this class.

One of my favorite exercises so far was identifying my core values. I'll leave you today with my list:

Acceptance – Giving myself permission to dream big & small and then being open to what I discover. Having the courage to believe in the goodness of myself and others. Seeking more gratitude, less judgment in my beautiful everyday life. Weathering the storms of life with grace, wisdom and humor.

Authenticity – Keeping it real & owning my own particular brand of crazy. Being true to myself in all my varying roles. No comparisons, no competition. Seek to add value in all the I do. Admit my frailties. Allow venerability.

Balance – Set priorities for family, work, household and creativity. Adopt and keep a schedule to avoid becoming overwhelmed! No more paralyzing fear of imperfection. Know it’s ok to be ok. Learn to say no, kindly but firmly. Celebrate the wins.


Commitment – Keep pushing to improve dedication and reliability. Follow through. Self-motivation. Work harder at marriage & motherhood. Heathy habits are now imperative! Manage chronic disease, eat better, move more.

Love – Hold fast to “the greatest of these is love.” Let this be your anchor. Kindness first. Generosity of spirit and materials. Honor my husband. Support my son’s move to independence, guide him without guilt or smothering. Learn to love from afar. Grow my spirituality. Take care of our earth.

Next up on the blog hop is  the wonderful Nicky. Check out her post here.

Thought For Today

Return To Blogging - From The Heart

 As many of you might have noticed, I've been conspicuously absent for the past six weeks on my poor blog. I have been dealing with some fairly overwhelming family and personal issues during this time. Partly out of shame, partly out of fear but mainly out of not even having enough energy to open my laptop at the end of every day, I told myself that I was "taking a hiatus" from blogging...but less like a planned sabbatical and more like just plain running away.

I was really just avoiding the issue of how to creatively express myself in the face of adversity. How do you present the struggles and challenges of real life without becoming overly emotional or coming across like you're just complaining? I mean, god forbid my blog should read like an overwrought teen diary, teeming with angst and drama. While life has certainly felt like I've somehow wandered onto the set of the "Real Housewives of Omaha," I was less than enthused with the thought that my blog should be perceived as such nonsense. I admit it -  I was worried about being too open, oversharing or (gasp!) wandering into the dreaded TMI zone.

But then I read this post on Ali Edwards' blog last week which started my thinking that maybe I was holding back unnecessarily, that I can be real and authentic about my struggles in a productive way. Shortly after, I read this post on Stephanie Howell's blog and was completely thunderstruck, awed and inspired by her challenge to Blog From The Heart.

I hear you, universe. And I offer you my heart in return.

My heart is breaking. My darling boy, my only child is a drug addict. He has been since the tender age of 14. To save him, we had to let him go for over 1 year when he was 16. A year  filled with insight and laughter and tears and healing and sobriety. After returning home, he underwent close monitoring and remained sober for an additional 8 months. He relapsed in January of this past year at the age of 18. We had an intervention in mid-August but he declined help. We had to have him removed from the house after he destroyed our living room furniture and assaulted both my husband and I. I have had only sporadic contact with him since that episode. Right now, my family is broken but I cannot fix it. I am helpless, forced into the role of observer as my only child battles his demons, doomed to stand by and merely watch. But I have hope, always hope.

My heart is overwhelmed. The stress of a blended family is taxing to a relationship in the best of circumstances. Obviously, the present is not something that could be characterized as the best of times. Jim and I are working through these challenges. I'd ask for your support and prayers over the coming weeks that we can grow tighter, stronger and more committed through our shared strength.

My heart is grateful. We are blessed with an amazing and wonderful circle of friends, as well as both of our families. To say that these individuals, our tribe as it were, have banded together in a truly awe-inspiring display of support for our family wouldn't come near enough to describing the outpouring of love that we have received.

My heart is healing. In the midst of all the turmoil, my asthma flared up (thanks again, fall allergies) and quickly developed into a serious pneumonia. I spent the majority of the past week in the hospital and needed two days of ICU care to remain off of a ventilator. This was truly one of the most terrifying experiences of my life. But I am lucky. I received excellent care and responded perfectly to medication. I have been home since last Tuesday and am feeling my strength coming back.

My heart is kick-started. Needless to say, this recent health scare has reinforced an urgent need in myself to make some lifestyle changes. I hereby commit to improving my eating habits and increasing my physical activity. I am completely deconditioned. But I am strong. I am capable of change. I am focused and determined.

My heart is inspired. I joined the fall session of Mondo Beyondo. As the site says, "I have joined Andrea Scher and Jen Lemen as together we explore Mondo Beyondo--the powerful point of view that transforms our deepest dreams into practical realities." I'm really looking forward to focusing my emotions and energy into a positive endeavor.

What is your heart feeling right now?

OLW Blog Hop - The Musical

Welcome once again to the One Little Word blog hop. I have really come to love these monthly gatherings, my friends. Participating every month in an organized group activity (thank you so much, Margie!) has been supremely helpful in keeping me on-track and accountable with my OLW dream adventures. Even when I haven't actually completed the prompt, preparing for this blog hop keeps thoughts and ideas about my word at the forefront of my mind.

Bet you thought all that was a lead up to my explaining how I don't have this month's prompt completed.

Well, you would be wrong. ; )

Because there is no way that I would miss out on a prompt that involved music. I cannot tell you how excited I was to see song lyrics as the main component this month. Music has always been a huge part of my life, my family's life. Just about this time last year, I wrote a post describing the soundtrack of my life. It is one of my favorite blog posts ever (if you're interested, you can check it out here).  And I got just as much satisfaction exploring songs from the perspective of my word, from seeing where my dreams lead me as I did when I wrote about this last year.

Music is just magic to me.

I actually did my cards digitally this month. I do all kinds of scrapping - traditional, digital and hybrid - but this is the first time I've done an all digital layout for this class. Truth be told, it was fun playing with type and color on my laptop. I'm a little bit geek at heart so sometimes I find great joy creating through technology.

Here's the listing of my lyric choices -

1. The Cave | Mumford & Sons
So make your siren's call and sing all you want
I will not hear what you have to say
'Cause I need freedom now
And I need to know how
To live my life as it's meant to be

2. All You Need Is Love | The Beatles
All you need is love

3. Love at the Five and Dime | Nanci Griffith
Dance a little closer to me
It's closing time 
And love's on sale tonight 
At this five and dime

4. Thunder Road | Bruce Springsteen
Show a little faith, there's magic in the night

5. F*cking Perfect | P!nk
Pretty, pretty please
if you ever, ever feel
like you are nothing
you're f*cking perfect to me

6. She Got Her Ticket | Tracy Chapman
She got her ticket
I think she gonna use it
I think she going to fly away

7. Dream a Little Dream of Me | Ella Fitzgerald
Sweet dreams til sunbeams find you
Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you
But in your dreams whatever they be
Dream a little dream of me

8. Head Full of Doubt/Road Full of Promise | The Avett Brothers
There was a dream
And one day I could see it
Like a bird in a cage
I broke in and demanded somebody free it

9. Defying Gravity | Wicked
It's time to try defying gravity

And I utilized the feature on my printer that prints directly onto a CD in creating my playlist! Total score. Here's a peek at this month all together in my album.

Next up in the blog hop is Maureen - check out her blog here.

OLW Blog Hop - I Remembered Pictures... And I've Planned An Awesome Giveaway

 Welcome back friends! I am super excited about this month's One Little Words blog hop. Ali hit the ball out of the park with this month's prompt. I'm talking grand slam, out of the stadium home run.

This month we took a step back from prompts that centered around deep thoughts, letters to future selves and documenting our planning process and ventured back into the artsy, crafty side of things. Now don't get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoyed every single one of the previous prompts. The contemplation, planning, and exploring the depth of my Dreams has helped me to keep my OLW in an active place in my life. It gave me a timeline of sorts for action steps. It offered some accountability in committing to this process. And it opened my eyes to new perspective. To read more about these prompts, you can check out my previous posts on my Dream journey here.

But I was so ready for some hands-on creativity this month. In fact, I was desperately ready to express my Dreams in a more artistic way. Our prompt this month was this:

This month you’re invited to create a series of nine mini-canvases that will fit inside a divided page protector. The main encouragement I want to give to you is to simply keep your word in mind as you play.

Perfect. Just perfect.

The color scheme for my album has been turquoise, grey, red and yellow. And this month I was feeling yellow. Such a bright, sunny, cheerful, happy color...the exact right sentiment for my outlook as I move forward on this Dream quest.

Here's my collage:

 

I was super inspired by this stamp that Ali used to create her crossword pattern. I am a major crossword geek! And while I didn't have that stamp, I did have the amazing red + yellow crossword patterned paper that I've been  hoarding for a couple years. I used the paper, a brad and stamped my OLW to create the central canvas around which I built the others. I love how it turned out! Here's a close-up the central portion:

I also have photos to share of my completed project pages for March, April and May. Can you believe how long I've been slacking on sharing my completed pages? Yeah, I know, I can't really believe it either. But here they are anyway... If you want to see any image in a larger size, then just click on the image.

March - Folded

March - Unfolded

April - Left Side

April - Facing Pages

May - Facing Pages

May - Closeup on Quote 

May - Spreadsheets

May - Spreadsheet Detail

June - Facing Pages

Now, some of you might remember from last month that I started on embellishing my OLW album cover. It is complete! I love, love, love the butterfly accent with the flower cluster - doesn't that just evoke Dream-iness?

And here's a couple of detail shots of the cover elements...

Last but not least, I am super stoked to announce my very first giveaway! 

(cue applause)

I am doing a major de-stash of my craft room. I'm talking tons of patterned paper, sticker sheets, embellishments and even some American Crafts Thickers. I mean, who can resist Thickers?!?

No one, that's who.

I plan on filling a US Priority Mail flat rate shipping box to the brim for one lucky reader. To be eligible for this box of awesome-ness, all you have to do is leave a comment telling me one random fact about yourself. I will collect comments until 11:59pm CST on Thursday July 7th. The person with the most interesting factoid will be crowned winner by moi and announced Friday July 8, 2011. So be sure to stop back.

Thanks for hanging in there on this much-longer-than anticipated post. Next up on the OLW blog hop is Kathryn at Katlo Designs. Check out her blog here.

Happy Hopping!